how I'm feeling.

my biggest fear in life is not being successful. not by anyone else’s eyes, but mine. i have standards that i just need to hit in life to be content. so that when I’m old and brittle i won’t sit there and say “i wish i would have done this then life would be so much different.” 

i want to live in france. that’s like last on my list really. it’s a pretty big step to live in another country. so much money too (or the house i at least want). but if I’m able to move to france, things would be three million times better. 

i don’t need that much money. i just need enough to live a lifestyle where i can travel every now and again, you know what i mean? i want my children to experience new things and not just see life from one state. I’m not really explaining a whole lot, but in my head, it makes sense. I’m sorry.

also, a wife. another fear is being alone. I come from a huge family. i want a wife and kids just like everyone else. but a wife i have a special connection with. a wife that shares the same passion as me, sort of like a movie wife. yeah, i know, i need to be realistic, but honestly, i feel like she’s somewhere around here. so yeah.

i want a job ill be happy with. track makes me happy. if my body is willing, I’m sure i can make a career out of this talent. if not, i want to be a coach, on a major level. college or pro field would be great.  I’m looking into moving to france if i don’t meet american standards. yeah, it’s that serious. 

i’ve considered NASA…ill get back to you guys on that. ahhaa. i just really am fascinated by our universe. it truly blows my mind. 

also, supporting friends. the friends i have now, are the friends i will have for the rest of my life. i honestly feel like i don’t need anymore friends. i love my best friends. i don’t know what i would do without each and everyone of them. i love them so much. they have a special place in my heart.